Looking for financial advice, life coaching or a new mantra? Good luck finding it elsewhere. Drinks Before Dinner is the one-stop shopper’s site for small talk. If you're a fiction reader, please visit my author website at www.bwknister.com

Friday, February 12, 2010


Yes, it does look like that, but don’t say it.

--Is there anything I can do?
--No, sweetheart, thanks anyway. Dinner in about twenty minutes.
--What’s this?
--That’s the pesto. Right out of our garden.
--I see.
--What’s it look like to you?
--It looks like a little token from a Canadian goose.
--Jesus, Barbara. You have a way of setting the table.
--Be honest, that’s what you were thinking. I could tell from your expression.
--I was going to say it looks like finely chopped spinach.
--Don’t worry. I promise it will look better when it comes out on the plate.
--When the token from the Canadian goose comes out on the plate. Please go to commercial.
--Let’s see… OK. “I just finished a magical, luminous, hauntingly beautiful work of fiction by Barry Knister.” How am I doing?
--Very well, almost perfect. Clearly, you’re paying attention to your dust jackets. Magical, luminous and hauntingly beautiful provide just the right breathless tone, both lilting and meaningless. Please continue.
--“It’s called Just Bill, and it’s about a wonderful dog, a little girl who will break your heart, and a young widow unfairly shunned by her neighbors.”
--Hm. “Wonderful dog” works, a shunned young widow works. I’m less sure about the little girl who will break hearts. That can be a turn-off for people on certain meds.
--“And the shocking injustice done to Bill, but not so bad that he dies.” That’s what you have to have in a dog book, right? The dog has to still be alive at the end?
--So I’ve been told. Over and over. But it needs work. I’m not good with the segue from goose turds to my hauntingly beautiful book.
--Make yourself a rob roy. And make it last twenty minutes.
--Is there anything to snack on?
--Bottom shelf, left-hand side. See it?
--This? Aren’t there any crackers or Sesame Snacks?
--Sorry, just rabbit turd trail mix.
--I see the evening has a theme. OK, trail mix it is. I’ll just garnish with a rabbit turd instead of a cherry.

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